98% of mass shootings in the United States happen in gun-free zones.
Even gun control proponents cannot deny the fact.
It reveals an essential and true principle: men and women denied agency, knowledge, and experience in the name of personal safety are vulnerable.
Or, as the great sage Benjamin Franklin put it:
“Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.”
This loss of individual agency and freedom has resulted in the death of hundreds, perhaps thousands in gun-restricted zones.
And the logic points to one simple solution:
We need people who own guns, carry guns, and know how to shoot them.
Over 33,000 people are killed each year by firearms
A growing number of LDS parents are becoming alarmed as they watch a disaster unfold.
The youth of the church, falling head over heels into sexual sin and transgression.
The numbers have been growing — statistics as high as 50% and higher have been proposed.
And yet, the youth as a whole continue their frivolous teenage drama, boyfriends and girlfriends switching and dumping in a confusing whirl of ‘romance’, completely neglectful of right and wrong as they travel down the woozy and looping path of the ‘amusement ride’ — morals, conscience, and rules soon bending to the overwhelming influence of attraction.
And most of the parents don’t seem to notice, or even care.
It’s time to face it. We’ve got a problem.
But just because guns are mishandled doesn’t mean they’re inherently bad.
Often the best way to solve a problem is to identify what caused it. And this problem is no different — people of all faiths are looking for a solution.
Many in the LDS church seem to think the youth just need more donuts and reassurance that they’re the chosen generation.
Others simply throw up their hands and blame the ‘teenage attitude’, a beast that surfaces the waters of life near the age of 13.
And some Christians have suggested that dating, in and of itself, is flawed and dangerous — a form that by nature degrades.
Those who have begun to seriously consider the the latter hypothesis are looking for other options — options that would provide stability, safety, and family involvement in a relationship between a young man and a young woman.
And thus the idea of ‘biblical courtship’ was begun.
Learning to shoot a gun can’t be done with the gun stuck in your belt.
In fact, it’s quite dangerous that way.
The ‘biblical courtship model’ mimics the ancient Hebrew betrothal system, with a few differences.
In the ‘biblical courtship model’:
- The daughter spends her ‘teens’ or ‘tweens’ at home preparing for marriage
- Young men and young women associate in formal settings or at social gatherings with parental oversight
- The daughter waits at home for a young man to come court her
- A young man asks permission of the father to officially court
- Courting is done in formal settings
- A chaperone or family member always accompanies the couple
In our culture, this type of courtship is no longer practiced. However, to the careful LDS parent, this ideal has several points that make it look quite attractive, specifically:
- Respect for patriarchal authority
- Safety from dangerous situations
In a world where increasing numbers of youth (both outside and inside the church) are forming teenage relationships and getting in serious trouble, a model like this assures parents that they’ll always know who their children are with and what they’re doing — all the time.
It’s a perfect and foolproof plan.
Or is it?
A gun range is designed to do one thing:
Teach you how to safely use and shoot a gun in real-life situations.
Before we discuss the biblical model further, I must take a moment to introduce the competition:
LDS dating.
Now, you’ve obviously already heard about dating, and this is old news to you. But I’m not comparing the ‘biblical model’ to just any old ‘dating’. That’s right, I’m not comparing the ‘courtship model’ to the wild teenage ride I mentioned earlier — the diversion that some call ‘dating’.
I am comparing the ‘biblical courtship model’ to what I call ‘LDS dating’. So, what is ‘LDS dating’?
The goal of ‘LDS dating’ is to learn and practice social skills, develop friendships (not romantic relationships), have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion.
In LDS Dating (according to For The Strength of Youth standards):
- A young man over 16 takes initiative to ask a girl (also over 16) to a planned activity
- The activity involves multiple couples who chaperone each other
- The activity is fun, easy, inexpensive, and facilitates conversation
Young men and young women do:
- Acquaint their parents with the person they’re dating
- Protect and care for their date throughout the activity
- Only go on dates with those who have high standards
Young men and young women do not:
- Spend time alone together
- Go on frequent dates with the same person
- Develop any serious relationships
Basically, LDS dating is dating done right. It has been around for a while — as a matter of fact, I’d guess that if you’re LDS and married, you dated like this. And if you’re LDS and not married, your parents probably dated like this. Thousands and even millions of successful LDS marriages over the last century have started with a simple LDS-style date.
LDS dating begins after the age of 16 (whenever a youth is mature enough), and continues until he/she is old enough for marriage and believes he/she has met a potential future companion. At that point a ‘courtship’ may begin that differs from dating — the dating is more frequent, doesn’t always include multiple couples, and the goal is to develop a serious relationship and learn if you want to spend eternity together.
‘LDS dating’ is clearly much better than the boyfriend-girlfriend whirly-gig, but how does it compare to ‘biblical courtship’?
There is no substitute for real-life practice; one could sit through hours of lectures on gun operation and still not know how to shoot a gun.
There are, ultimately, two differences between ‘biblical courtship’ and ‘LDS dating’.
However, the similarities are striking:
Both models or forms show respect for patriarchal/parental authority.
Both protect a couple from having dangerous time with no one around.
Both direct youth not to form serious relationships too early.
Both involve chaperones.
Both assure that the youth spends time with people who have high standards.
Both can facilitate a young man and young woman getting married.
In the end, there’s just two differences.
The ‘biblical courtship model’ limits all pre-courtship interaction between young men and young women to approved activities with parental oversight, then enforces standards during courtship through ever-present family members and chaperones.
‘LDS dating’ facilitates extended and extensive social experience with the opposite gender, and leaves the enforcement of standards up to the conscience of the youth.
The purpose of a trainer is to teach the safety rules,
then let the man learn to handle his own gun.
A plan or method is designed, if followed, to lead to an end, a result.
The result that makes the ‘biblical courtship model’ so appealing is safety — it eliminates all danger of sin in one killing parental blow.
And in the same blow eliminates a youth’s agency to choose the opposite of that sin.
Perhaps you’ll recall a plan with a result somewhat like the ‘biblical courtship model’ — a plan where people are sheltered from challenges and temptations, constantly supervised to eliminate sin, and prevented from having opportunity to choose anything that might be threatening to their safety. And, of course, guaranteed to emerge from the experience without any losses.
And exactly the same as they were before it all started.
Now, I do not advocate seeking evil — especially not for the purpose of experiencing it. I speak for a higher plan — a better plan — a plan in which a parent must allow His children to be exposed to such sin, even sending His precious sons and daughters away from His presence in the ultimate act of trust and hope, all because He knew it was the only way to present His children with opportunities to grow. It is a loving plan, a merciful plan, and a wise plan.
And He did not send us out unprepared or unaided.
Always listen carefully to the trainer’s advice.
Failing to listen and follow could cost your life.
God’s servants, the prophets, are not unaware of the teenage whirly-gig that started this whole search for a safer ‘model’. The Old Ship Zion sails on, the captain of the ship still passing crucial commands down through His leadership. And these watchmen on the tower have given their warning and instruction. Will we follow?
Here’s what prophets and apostles over recent years have said about dating:
“Begin to prepare for a temple marriage as well as for a mission. Proper dating is a part of that preparation.”
(President Thomas S. Monson, Preparation Brings Blessings)
“Remember, young women, the importance of proper dating.”
(President Ezra Taft Benson, To The Young Women of the Church)
“You single adults need to date and marry. Please stop delaying! I know some of you fear family formation. However, if you marry the right person at the right time and in the right place, you need not fear. In fact, many problems you encounter will be avoided if you are “anxiously engaged” in righteous dating, courting, and marriage.”
(Elder M. Russel Ballard, The Greatest Generation of Young Adults)
“Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating.”
(President Spencer W. Kimball, Miracle of Forgiveness)
“In cultures where dating or courtship is acceptable, dating can help you develop lasting friendships and eventually find an eternal companion.”
(Dating, For The Strength Of Youth)
“There is definitely a time for the dance, for travel, for associations, for the date, and even for the steady date that will culminate in the romance which will take young people to the holy temple for eternal marriage.”
(President Spencer W. Kimball, November 1980 New Era)
“Again, may I speak frankly? The track that leads to marriage passes through the terrain called dating!”
(Elder Robert D. Hales, Meeting the Challenges of Today’s World)
God’s prophets have not directed us to stop or avoid dating — in fact, they’re saying the opposite — that proper dating is the path towards an eternal marriage.
Are you willing to risk your life and the lives of your family members on the feeble notion that ‘it’s not that important to carry and know how to use a gun’?
Now, it’s time for you to make a Spirit-directed decision.
Will you follow the Christian trend into the safe, barricaded walls that surround a ‘biblical courtship model’?
Even if it means sacrificing the agency and growth of your children or yourself?
Maybe you’ll ignore what I’ve shared here — neglecting and eventually forgetting. It often seems to be the easiest way to deal with a painful truth.
Or perhaps you’ll simply heed and follow the warnings and directions our modern prophets have given regarding dating — DATE — date wisely, date safely, and date carefully, following the guidelines in For The Strength Of Youth.
When crisis finds you, will it find you with a gun in your hands?
A gun you know how to use?
Youth who miss divinely-directed opportunities for growth and development because they or others fear the potential of sin are stunting their progress and exposing themselves to even more danger by their consequent lack of growth.
As the great sage Benjamin Franklin put it:
“Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither.”
This loss of individual agency and freedom will inevitably result in the spiritual death of hundreds, perhaps thousands.
And the logic points to one simple solution:
We need youth who own their choices and emotions.
And know how to control them.
Remember the truths of gun safety:
Over 33,000 people are killed each year by firearms
Dating can indeed be dangerous and risky — it’s the way this life is, so be careful.
But just because guns are mishandled doesn’t mean they’re inherently bad.
But dating isn’t the problem — neglected guidelines and careless actions are.
Learning to shoot a gun can’t be done with the gun stuck in your belt.
In fact, it’s quite dangerous that way.
Don’t hide from or avoid dating — especially out of fear. Fearing dating is more dangerous than taking it in a firm grip and moving forward.
A gun range is designed to do one thing:
Teach you how to safely use and shoot a gun in real-life situations.
Dating in accordance with LDS standards is a process designed for the express purpose of helping you learn to control your emotions and make wise decisions.
There is no substitute for real-life practice; one could sit through hours of lectures on gun operation and still not know how to shoot a gun.
No amount of discussion can put you in control of your emotions and choices–your best course of action is to set your standard, prepare to defend it, and dive into life ready to do so.
The purpose of a trainer is to teach the safety rules,
then let the man learn to handle his own gun.
Parents are there to teach the rules and give counsel along the way — but they can’t make the choices for you. If they do, it only puts you more at risk when they’re not there.
Always listen carefully to the trainer’s advice.
Failing to listen and follow could cost your life.
Always listen to the counsel you receive from prophets, parents, and church leaders — neglecting it puts you in spiritual and physical danger.
Are you willing to risk your life and the lives of your family members on the feeble notion that ‘it’s not that important to carry and know how to use a gun’?
The skills and growth a youth achieves through dating are vital to spiritual strength, testimony, and eventually a healthy eternal marriage. The ability to control one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions without a parent around is essential to a healthy marriage relationship.
The prophets have instructed us to date. Dare we think ourselves wiser than they?
When crisis finds you, will it find you with a gun in your hands?
A gun you know how to use?
Today, it’s no longer a matter of ‘if I get exposed to temptation’, it’s ‘WHEN I get exposed to temptation’. You cannot hide from crisis. In the eternal war we are engaged in, crisis finds us every day.
Talking about it can’t prepare you. Your parents cannot face it for you.
Crisis is the new normal.
And as it finds you, there’s only one way you can defeat it.
Have a gun in your hands.
A gun you’ve been using at the practice range for years. A gun you’ve been trained to use, but more importantly, learned to use.